Would Anypony Miss Me? Part 4

In loving memory of Nathan Maddox
Sept 25 1991 - Feb 12 2012

Rainbow just glared at her friend, shocked in disbelief by her very words. "Fluttershy? What are you saying?"

"I was so miserable yesterday that I… I just felt like ending it all."

There were more tears flowing down Fluttershy's cheek, unable to control her persona which left Rainbow speechless. Nothing like this had ever been seen in Fluttershy since Rainbow became friends with her. The heart monitor continued to beep as many moments of sobbing silence passed between the two ponies.

Though Rainbow was lost towards knowing what to do in her position, she still managed to murmur a reply. "Fluttershy, please. You're scaring me."

Fluttershy whimpered. "I felt like there was nothing I could do to make myself better. I was all alone with nopony to reach out to….Tell me Rainbow Dash, how can anypony feel this way?"

The blue pegasus started to tear up as well, unable to answer. She just sat there, not wanting to listen to every word that was poured into her soul. Her face went from worried to a frightened expression as the terrifying image from yesterday crept its way back into her head.

"Why is life so cruel to me?" Fluttershy clenched her eyes shut tight, "I just… I just want myself to-"

At that instant, Rainbow lunged herself onto the bed; eyes clenched with both hooves wrapping tightly around Fluttershy's shoulders, making her heart skip a beat. Putting both of them in a state of harmony, silence filled the room once again as Fluttershy returned the hug and nestled on Rainbow's mane.

"It's okay Fluttershy. You don't have to be alone. I'm here now. I'm here now and… and we can just talk things out, because I care for you."

"…Rainbow?"

"Oh Fluttershy, We've been good friends since our fillyhood. I don't know what I'd do with without you."

Those very words opened Fluttershy's eyes; overflowed with such compassion from her fillyhood friend that it made her gasp. She stared blankly towards the flowers across the counter of the opposite wall as her tears seized to flow. For just a minute, all they both wanted to do was hold each other; as if to never let go.

"I'm sorry." Said Fluttershy. "I didn't mean to just blurt it all out on you, it's just that… I wanted you to be the first one I talked to since I feel so close to you."

For the first time since yesterday, Rainbow Dash smiled. "Thanks Fluttershy. That really means a lot to hear you say that."

"Oh, no Rainbow Dash. It's your words that really mean a lot to me." The feeling was mutual.

Rainbow parted away from the hug and looked into Fluttershy's eyes, now unafraid of seeing the dark image once again. With tears in their eyes, the two pegasi both made a small smile at each other, feeling a sort of awkwardness with neither of them not knowing what else to say. Now that things were calm once again, Rainbow decided to break the ice.

"Yeah, so… um… are you really feeling better?"

"Yes… well not entirely, but I'm glad to have you here right now." A small smile was returned before Rainbow walked over to the other side of the room to pull up a chair. Fluttershy noticed how Rainbow was limping and, from behind, could see the brace secured to her blue friend's leg.

"Rainbow! Your leg! Are you hurt?"

Rainbow quickly glanced at the black tether brace. "Oh, this? I uh… hurt myself while I was helping Applejack with her apple trees and all."

The forcing of a smile with her eyebrows raised easily gave away Rainbow's dishonesty. "You hurt yourself when you were trying to save me, didn't you?"

Rainbow could only respond with a frown, not wanting to admit the truth. She couldn't think of how to answer her.

"I'm so sorry Rainbow." Fluttershy continued. "You got yourself hurt because of me."

"It's okay… I-it doesn't hurt at all because… I've had much worse injuries before. This little scrape will heal up in no time."

Fluttershy looked directly at Rainbow. "Please answer me honestly. How did I… get to the hospital? The doctors wouldn't tell me much."

Before Rainbow responded, she heard a small noise coming from behind and shot a glance at the crack of the door, perceiving a set of familiar eyes looking directly into the room. "That doesn't matter now. What does matter is that your friends are here to see you now. It's okay guys, you can come in."

------

The morning seemed rather chilly as Fluttershy blinked her eyes open, easing her way into waking up. Expecting to see the warmth of the sun, she noticed how odd it felt to hear the absence of the typical bird chirping she'd grown accustomed to waking up to; replaced by the sounds of droplets hitting the roof. Opening her eyes fully, Fluttershy was taken by surprise to see that it was raining heavily outside.

The weather ponies must've had to set an unexpected drizzle to compensate for the lack of condensation needed to cycle the water. Only half awake now, Fluttershy crawled out of bed and walked towards the nearby window. Looking out, mud puddles could be seen in the open field with the Everfree forest trees blowing at edge of the tall grass.

"Oh no. Angel Bunny!" She exclaimed.

Realizing how cold and wet it was outside, she ran down the steps and out the front door towards Angel Bunny's outside house, instantly feeling the tingling sensation of the rain drops hitting her body. Glaring inside the small house, all that could be seen were a few left over pieces of the salad from last night, but no white bunny.

"Oh my, oh dear. Angel? Where are you?"

Her concern was that she'd always let Angel Bunny inside the house to stay warm and dry whenever it rained. The unexpected downpour caught Fluttershy off guard and could not help but feel upset, not being awake to let Angel come inside.

Leaping over the fence in such a rush, her mane swayed back and forth in the wind; looking in every direction. "Angel! Angel! Where'd you go? Come back!"

A sharp bolt of lightning struck in the air with such a thunderous sound so loud, that it sent chills down Fluttershy's hooves. For the split second that the accumulated light flashed in the sky, she could see two animal figures standing in the middle of the field. Though visibility in the rain was rather low, she could make out that one of them was rather small, while the other was clearly larger and appeared to be covered in thick fur.

Instinct took over and she took flight. "Angel Bunny!"

A moment later, Fluttershy descended and landed just feet away from the two animal figurines, but almost immediately took two steps back by the sudden fear. Before her was a wet and vicious looking wolf, eyeing directly at a small white bunny who had his back pressed up against a small log.

"Angel!" She cried, her voice just barely loud enough to be heard over the wind.

The terrified Angel Bunny instinctively ran over to Fluttershy; hiding behind her hind legs, all the while the wolf never took his hungry eyes of his prey. With Fluttershy now making her presence clear, the wolf was looking directly at her, as if appeasing to a new item on the menu.

"Please mister wolf. Leave Angel Bunny alone."

Unable to comprehend the thought of compassion, the wolf took a step closer with a snarky growl. Fluttershy was as terrified as ever by the sight of the wolf's sharp teeth. When an animal feels frightened however, they can be cornered, and when they are cornered in fear, there is no telling what they're capable of.

"I said. Leave him alone." Her tone changed with her eyes, which were now crossed.

Crouching down, the wolf prepared to leap forward at Fluttershy before another flash of thunder and lightning went off in the clouds.

"Leave him alone!" She yelled, lunging forward.

Hitting each other in mid air, they both fell to the ground. A paw swiped Fluttershy in the face and knocked her over against the log. Not letting up, the angry wolf lunged himself on top of the yellow pegasus, forcing Fluttershy to press her hind legs against the wolf's heavy chest, with her front hooves trying to control the jaw. She screamed as the beast growled louder and louder, getting closer to the edge of her pink mane.

With a slight adjustment to her legs, she kicked the beast squarely in the throat as hard as possible before reaching for a rock that laid over the other side of the log; hiding it behind her head with both hooves; cocked and ready. It would only take a few seconds before the wolf regained his footing in the mud, which gave such little time for Fluttershy to even attempt to flee.

"Get away!" She screamed

The final lung came in and with such perfect timing as the yellow pegasus brought the rock down onto the wolf's head, which was followed by a whimper after he hit the ground, bleeding. It wouldn't stop there however. Out of shear fright and anger, she flew up into the air and brought down yet another blow to the twitching body.

In a distinctive rhythm, she repeatedly smashed the rock into its face with trickles of blood spraying into her mane. She kept this up until the wolf's face was nothing more than a mangled mess of mud, blood and fur, which left the rock painted in a dark shade of red.

By the time it was all over, Fluttershy's chest was breathing heavily while kneeled over in the tall grass. The rain spontaneously ceased to fall and a clearing opened in the sky, slowly releasing the sunlight over the field. Fluttershy dropped the rock and fell backwards; staring in shock at the mangled body that was surrounded by the red stained grass.

She gasped. "Wha-what did I… do?"

She killed an animal. The one pony who devoted her life to caring for all creatures large and small had just taken a life; something that she could never let down. It was very quiet all around. Looking behind where she once stood, Angel was gone. He had vanished during the fight and wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Before leaving the dead wolf in the field to search for her friend, she looked towards the trees near her cottage. Animals of all kinds had been watching her the entire time, and were now filled with such fear of the soft yellow pegasus.

------

"Fluttershy!" Spike yelled, running in excitement across the room before throwing himself at the bed. He clenched onto Fluttershy's hoof, as happy as ever to see the kind pony he'd grown to know and love since he and Twilight first moved into Ponyville.

"Oh… hi Spike." Fluttershy was taken by surprise.

With the rest of her friends calmly making their way into the room, Fluttershy's emotions quickly changed into a falling strut, feeling terrified. What appeared to be as her usual shy self was actually anguish and distress. The very sight of her friends reminded her of the regret and heartache that was experienced during her panic attack in the IPC room. This was exactly the situation she feared as an outcome of her suicide attempt. Unable to face her friends, she couldn't help but just shrug and hide under the covers in fear.

"Fluttershy? Are you okay?" Rainbow asked.

Spike then released Fluttershy's hoof as he noticed her withdrawal under the covers. Fluttershy made a small whimper and Spike asked, "What's wrong?"

Everyone was about to step in closer before Rainbow raised a hoof. "Wait a sec you guys."

Knowing what to do, Rainbow Dash made a gentle walk to the other side of the bed, while remaining as silent as possible with her injured leg. She slipped in her head under the corner of the bed sheets while sliding a hoof over Fluttershy's warm body; which brought her some comfort. Bringing their foreheads together, Rainbow whispered closely with a soft smile.

"It's alright Fluttershy. Your friends want to see you. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Her eyes remained closed. "But… I'm so scared. I don't want them to see me like this."

"They came here to see you because they care about you. Don't be scared. I'll be right beside you the entire time."

"Um… okay. I'll try."

Fluttershy's pink mane slowly rose from under the covers with Rainbow Dash simultaneously; her eyes were still shut. By the time she opened them, all of her friends were surrounding the bed with smiles on their faces. Keeping their distances encouraged the frail pegasus to sit upright and feel confident enough to look at her friends without shying away.

Applejack was the first to speak. "Hey there sugar cube. Glad to see ya."

Before saying a word, Fluttershy looked at her rainbow maned friend, who just simply nodded and smiled, as if to give consent that it was okay for her to talk. Although Fluttershy frowned when she spoke, it was a good first step for someone as sensitive as her.

"Hi everyone. It's um… nice to see you all he-."

"Hi Fluttershy! I've never been so excited to see you again. Did you get some good rest? Did ya? Did ya?" Pinkie hopped.

Rarity instantly covered the party pony's mouth. "Pinkie Pie, please do keep your voice down, especially in front of Fluttershy. This is still a hospital after all."

"Oopsies. Sorry Fluttershy."

"Oh my… it's okay Pinkie Pie. I did get some rest and my body feels much better. It's just my insides that… that still hurt."

The small talk seemed to be doing some good and filled the room with a very mellow aura, putting the tension at ease. Everyone seemed happy and content. The truth however was that nopony wanted to rush answers out of Fluttershy about her attempted suicide; afraid of what they may learn. More importantly though, they were more afraid to not knowing the truth, which was the key to Fluttershy's recovery.

"The doctor told us that you would be able to check out in a few days." Said Twilight.

"Oh. That's good to hear. I was wondering how long I'd have to stay in bed."

Though everyone was afraid to ask, they all remembered what Twilight told them while they waited in the lobby. It was arranged so that Twilight would be the one to ask the questions while everyone else would offer moral support. This would ensure that it didn't turn into an interview of questions and would ease their way into finding out what went on last night.

"Fluttershy, what happened yesterday? Can you tell us what's been going on?" Twilight asked.

Fluttershy blinked once and brought a hoof to her neck before looking at her fillyhood friend again. Rainbow, who stood by her side, took a hold of her hoof and beamed. "It's alright. It's just us. You can tell us anything you want or don't want."

Taking in a deep breath, she finally spoke out loud. "There's just so much on my mind right now that it still makes me feel so… so…"

"So- what?" Applejack asked.

"…Worthless." She cringed.

"You're not worthless Fluttershy, you're our friend. You're everyone's friend." Spike replied.

"I was so alone in the world that it felt like I could just scream… but my voice felt isolated with no one to talk to."

The tension shot up, and everyone was silenced by the shock to hear those very words come out of Fluttershy's mouth. Since nopony had anything to say, Twilight brought up another question to keep the conversation moving. "Why didn't you come and talk to us?"

"I was afraid to… because-" Fluttershy's tears reopened as she looked out the window. "I didn't want to be such a burden to anypony."

Rainbow shook her head in doubt. "A burden? How could you be such a burden when you do so many wonderful and kind things for all the creatures of Ponyville."

That last comment stuck Fluttershy right into the heart, feeling such a strong memory of the atrocity she committed days ago. She resisted bursting into tears, as she did not want her friends to discover the unspeakable act the occurred in the tall grass outside her cottage. The very thought of confrontation was unbearable.

"You guys were busy and needed my help with a so many things that I just couldn't bring myself to being seen so weak and… weighing you all down. I remembered how much of a burden I was to you guys when we had to confront that dragon or like my outburst at the Grand Galloping Galla."

"Yes, but that was different sweetie." Said Rarity.

With no other response, Applejack stepped forward. "Look Fluttershy, there's a big difference between feelin' sad and feelin' scared, but ya gotta remember that everyone needs a friend whenever they're feelin' either one of the two."

"And that's what we're all here for, because we care for you." Spike added.

"So… you guys still wanted to see me, even after I…" Her voice trailed off.

"Of course silly willy! We love you!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"We're here for you and always will be." Rainbow finished.

A warm feeling flickered on inside of Fluttershy's heart that was small in stature but just big enough to put another smile on her face. Through all the doubts and dark thoughts that clouded her mind, she revived the faith that she had in her friends; knowing that they were there for her. Right when Fluttershy opened her mouth to speak, a voice interrupted at the doorway. It was Dr. Whooves.

"I apologize for interrupting you folks, but it's time to give miss Fluttershy her medication and pain cream."

Twilight answered before anyone could protest. "Right, we understand. We'll give you the room and privacy needed."

"I appreciate it. We should only be a few minutes and then you can come back in."

"Thank you Dr. Whooves. Come on everypony."

The nurse strolled in with a small cart as everyone began to exit single filed. Fluttershy's eyebrows raised with a hoof extended. "You guys aren't leaving yet are you?"

"Don't worry, we're not going anywhere. We'll just be right outside."

"Um… okay."

With everyone outside, Twilight made sure the door was shut far enough to not be heard or seen by from the inside. No one knew exactly what to say to each other, nor did they know how to feel from such an awkward confrontation, feeling absorbed in a depth of despair and hardship.

"She's really in a lot pain. I've never seen her like this before. What could possibly be making her act this way?" Rainbow asked.

Rarity answered. "Well I for one think that we shouldn't rush ourselves into finding out. She's seems very unstable right now, so I think it would be best if we just stick to the small talk."

Twilight paused. "I guess you're right. I wouldn't want to have Fluttershy worry about us judging her. That would be wrong, but we need to find out soon. Does anyone here have any other ideas about what caused her to feel so depressed in the first place?"

"Well, we already know about her crying at the lake yesterday, something bad that happened with Angel Bunny and how none of us except Twilight has seen her in the last three days." Rainbow explained.

"That little incident with Angel is probably why Fluttershy wanted that book on bunny care that I was saving." Twilight turned to her assistant. "Spike, did you notice anything unusual in Fluttershy's behavior the last time you saw her?"

"No. She seemed just like her normal happy self. Nothing out of the ordinary." He replied.

A few of the ponies took a seat on the floor, reminiscing over the last few days of any events that involved Fluttershy. Two minutes of silence passed by, trying to think of anything else that could give them a hint or a clue to show what caused this incident to occur. They repeated the facts over and over again without any other leads to go on.

Applejack on the other hand was withholding information. She grew more and more upset at herself for not speaking up since she was the element of honesty after all. Though she knew that telling the truth was the right thing to do, she also learned that sometimes telling the truth could make others upset or even do more harm than good. She had to tell them.

"Um… T-Twilight."

"Yes Applejack?"

"I-I think…" Everyone looked at the orange earth pony. She didn't want to tell the others, but didn't want to keep anything from them either. "I think there's somethin' else ya outta know."

"What is it?"

Applejack sighed. "It's about Trixie."

------

Night time came as the hours went by very quickly for Rainbow Dash who had been sitting next to Fluttershy the entire day. Everything was quiet and content as the yellow pegasus slept peacefully in her bed, all the while the loyal blue Pegasus remained at her side. Everyone else had already left in the afternoon, but Rainbow insisted on staying no matter what.

Dr. Whooves walked into the room only a few seconds after the clock on the wall struck nine, speaking softly, "Rainbow Dash, I'm afraid that visiting hours have ended for the day."

Rainbow walked over to protest quietly enough to not wake Fluttershy. "But it hasn't even been that long. Can't you just give me five more minutes with her?"

"I'm sorry Rainbow Dash, but it is hospital policy. Fluttershy needs the rest for now."

Rainbow dropped her head, staring at the ground.

"There's no need to worry." He assured. "We have nurses watching her twenty-four-seven and you can come back tomorrow morning when visiting hours reopen at ten."

"You promise me?" Rainbow inquired.

Dr. Whooves knew that he himself could not promise 24/7 care and that other staff members would take the night shifts. However, it was to the best interest of everyone that he suggested otherwise, knowing that Rainbow Dash wouldn't want to leave. It was obvious to him that Rainbow felt a great sense of responsibility to guard and look after her, being the element of loyalty and all.

"You have my word and that she will be kept safe. Now you run along home. You look like you could use some rest."

"I guess we could both use some sleep. I appreciate your loyalty to my friend." Rainbow glanced at Fluttershy one more time with grin on her face, convinced that she'd get to see her tomorrow morning. Upon walking past the doctor, she stopped and added "…And Dr. Whooves…"

"Yes?"

"…Thank you for saving Fluttershy. There's no telling what I or anyone else in Ponyville would do without her."

"Yes I agree, but I think you're the one who should be thanked. From what I heard, you flew quite the distance to Fluttershy's house and back with that bottle in such a short amount of time." Whooves smiled.

"Whatever you say doc." Rainbow walked away without saying anything else.

The room darkened as the brown earth pony lowered the dimmer on the light switch; set just bright enough for Fluttershy to feel comfortable sleeping in the dark. When the door finally closed, Fluttershy rustled over to her side and smiled, looking out the window in the night sky. She had heard everything.

Rainbow's leg had been feeling much better and could now walk on it without limping. The first thing she wanted to do was to take a bath, considering that she hadn't washed her leg wound all day as instructed to do so by the nurse.

Walking down the hallway, she was met by Applejack who had a saddlebag on her back; waiting patiently for Rainbow by herself. Her face held a sense of seriousness, like she had important news to bring.

"Hey AJ. What are you doing back here? Visiting hours just ended."

"I know and I was intendin' on seein' ya both, but… I though it be best ta give ya some more time alone with her before we talked." Applejack looked concerned.

Rainbow blinked a few times. "Y-yeah… some alone time. Well, she's sleeping now so… what did you want to talk about?"

"There's something that ya need ta see."

"What is it? Is… it having something to do with Fluttershy?"

Applejack looked away, giving an indefinite 'yes' to Rainbow's question. "I found out something but I wanted you to be the first to know about it since I think you're Fluttershy's closest friend."

The orange earth pony dropped her saddlebag back to the floor, but also made the effort to take her hat off as a sign of respect. Reaching inside with one hoof, she pulled out a medium sized rock with a dark red stain covering the bottom.


End part 4